Haven't been bothered to blog lately, and have too little time in my hands to bother to do it; either. Lately its been a very bad time for me - stress pops up from four corners of the earth, and staying at home for a minute is really bringing me pain. I just don't know how much more I can take before I start to have a mental breakdown; no one in my family really understands me, and I've been quite an irritating one among my friends. Sometimes I think - is it better to keep my mouth shut and speak only when I'm needed to to avoid being a nuisance? Yes, that might help, since nothing good comes out of my mouth when I speak. And I feel so much drained out of life, I wish I'd take a sleep forever and leave behind everything I have at present - it'd be so much more carefree for me.
A friend told me that I'm jealous about another when hes so much more sociable and how much of a great guy he is, and yes, I do feel that, but that slightest hint of jealousy is envy; but perhaps things are what it is. I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about now; and every time I'm at home I feel like crying, but given my nature, it's impossible to do so. And I have thought it out - now is the time for me to wake up, and rush my GPA to at least a 3.85 or 3.9, and work my way towards my long term goal. And if I fail, that means I've tried my best, but knowing myself, I'll kill myself if I failed at that stage; but then I'll hold one of my educators as a model and strive, provided my laziness gets off me first.
