I'm really tired lately, both physically and mentally. I have plenty of things to talk about, as well. Firstly, its about my mom. I could understand her worries for me, but this is getting me more and more insane; she's stereotyping this and that, I just can't stand it anymore; can't hang out normally like others do. If I stayed at home, I'd get scolded for facing the computer for the whole day, if I went out, I'd still get scolded either way. Just what the hell am I supposed to do, sit at home and do nothing? How am I different from a god damned prisoner? Just take the recent night cycling for example, its not the first time I actually went overnight, and I already told her in advance that I will be doing that again, and when the day came, she just ranted at me, and just told my family members about it. For god's sake, I know who and what company I'm mixing with, and I always drew a clear line between them. Now, I never even talk to her more than just a word or two (not like I talked to her much before that anyway); she just simply doesn't trust me, and I don't trust her that much, or any other of my relatives as well - its just kind of an in-family thing, though.
Secondly, it lies within the circle of relatives, family and friends. I seriously can't trust anyone of them much, and my relatives? Though a few dote on me, its more towards pity than the former - I simply can't stand it, I'm always a subject of despise, my cousins don't like me, and I never liked them much either. Don't mention gatherings - I don't even want to attend as well, I simply can't click with them. Friends was another matter, I'm a nuisance, a fly amongst them, and I can't tell anyone stuff, except Alena, though. Shes the only one I feel comfortable talking to. But then again, I'm sure she finds me irritating at times, so yea, that's just the way it is.
Now, for the third, it's about the girl I like now - I don't know what to say to her most of the time; no matter how hard I try to think of things to talk about, I'm always stuck there, no idea how to get closer to her. Although shes not your usual type of girl that most guys would go after - gentle, demure and blah blah blah, but when shes pissed sometimes, shes really kind of..adorable. She has more qualities though, but I just find her..cute, in a way, despite certain flaws in her. But, one has to accept the other's flaws if he really likes her, yes? But the only thing is, I just feel that she doesn't want to talk to me, always avoiding me. Well, maybe I thought too much, but thats about it.
